5 tips for sticking on while being sicked on

When you make that vow on your wedding day " ... in sickness and in health ... " it's more likely than not that you do not know what you are getting yourself into with the "in sickness" part. If you think it means "I promise to hand you more clean tissues to blow your nose" like I used to then you have no idea. The two hardest parts about marriage when your partner is sick are being there for them while they have their head over the toilet bowel, and looking after them when they are moody, crabby, irritable, uncomfortable, and in pain. This can get old fast, easily resulting in unnecessary fights. So here are 5 tips on sticking on while being sicked on...

5. Allow them feel like they are still helpful; don't make them feel totally dependent on you
In the later recovery stages of being sick your partner will want to start doing things again to help out. This is because they feel like you have done too much for them already and want to start helping out again. Don't deny them this joy and satisfaction of being able to help. It will aid in their recovery mentally as they feel that sense of accomplishment. Obviously make sure it is within their limits while they are still unwell because the last you want is to delay their recovery by over-exertion.

4. Don't get frustrated when they refuse your help
This ties into the previous point where you allow them the satisfaction of being able to do some normal things again, but it is more so focused on while they are fully sick. When sick, your partner may try to deny how sick they are by refusing your help or assistance. Remember, this is not your normal partner and so is no time to get upset with them because they refuse your good and caring intentions.

3. Go with the flow and don't complain
Consistent is by no means something your partner will be while sick. They may go from wanting you to be with them and (insert level of physical intimacy you are comfortable with while your partner is sick, eg, holding hands) to being repulsed by your presence. Be where you are needed, do what you are asked, and roll with the punches.

2. Don't complain about them being sick and not being able to for-fill your "needs"
When your partner is sick, their "needs" and the idea of your "needs" don't even enter their mind. Do not make any form of comment complaining about how your "needs" are not being met. Instead (if this is an issue for you) in the more comfortable moments of their sickness, make positive, longing comments which convey your desires without putting any pressure on them. Bonus points if you can make them still feel attractive and sexy even in their "not so great" moments. If you are lucky, you may even get a surprise once they are feeling better.

An example of a good comment would be: "You know, even when you are sick you are still desirable to me. I look forward to when you are feeling better again."

1. Make sure they know you will stay with them and love them in sickness and in heath
The last thing your sick partner wants to do is to repulse you, even if it is only by sickness. So continue to act the same loving way you would towards them (minus the appropriate level of physical contact based on sickness). Do whatever you have to to continue showing that affection - if you can't kiss on the lips, kiss on the forehead; if you can't kiss on the forehead, kiss on the shoulder; if you can't kiss on the shoulder, kiss on the hand.

Learning to live together

When you and your partner move in together you will notice there are a number of fantastic benefits. Some obvious benefits include not having to drive home at night after dropping your partner home, sharing a morning cup of tea together, or pyjama/naked days. However, when learning to live with your partner for the first time there are also a number of things you may need to learn or get used to. Some of these are easy while others will take time. Here is a list of 8 things you or your partner will need to learn.

A Confident Women

The topic of self confidence, self respected and being an empowered women, is something that is becoming more and more of a continually discussed topic amongst women today. This past year and a half for me has been an interesting time in my life. Not only have I completed a university degree, but I graduated with a sense of uncertainty and confusion, wondering where the strong confident empowered women I had been taught to be growing up had disappeared to. It's true, even as a happily married 25 year old lady, I still have times of doubt. Primarily because of the fact that I don't handle the unknown well it's been a great time in life to really refocus on what truly should and does matters to me.

Lets Sleep Together

All right ladies and gents it's that time, that time for us to go a little deeper into the world of being a newly-wed. Yes, you read correctly we are going to talk about the best times and the worst times of "sleeping together".

Moving House

Moving from one home to another at any given time in life can be difficult, however doing it as a family or as newly-weds can take away the stress that comes with relocating your home. Many hands make light work. Packing up boxes, organising your possessions into multiple categories such as bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, living room and so on can establish the meaning of importance of your items to you and your spouse. It's time's like this you really sit down and talk about what is most important to you. You start to realise that you have accumulated a lot of things throughout the years, having more stuff than you thought, and learn a lot about what items you find "valuable".

Moving is something that reminds me of a my childhood, because we moved a lot, but it was also something that brought joy into our lives because we had a lot of fun doing it. Knowing where everything goes and creating a packing method is something that can de-stress multiple moving day complications. Collect boxes, bubble wrap and newspaper ahead of time and label all your boxes by category. This will help you from having arguments about what goes in what box when running out of time to pack before moving day. Although I thought my Dad was crazy to create a document that had a table with what box had what in it and what number it was, creating such an organised packing method is golden. Trust me, you'll thank yourself for the idea later.

Packing your belongings into boxes to move house in the same town is very different to moving overseas. Although I've experienced both it's never easy to get use to the process. I find adding an element of fun can help move the process along quicker and keep your spirits up, especially when you mother says, "no, we can't take that". A sad moment can turn into a fun moment in a matter of minutes with an impromptu competition of, who can pop the most bubbles in the roll of bubble wrap in under a minute. Sadly, I never win. I married a bubble wrap professional though, but that is totally beside the point.

I have a spouse who has a HUGE obsession with bubble wrap, so much so that for Christmas two years ago he was super excited for me to open my gift. Talking about it for at least two months ahead of time when he had bought my gift and placed it under the tree. The smallest box I have ever seen contained a 4 by 4-electronic bubble wrap key chain. Opening it on Christmas morning I was not surprised at all. I have a confession to make; I may or may not still have the electronic bubble wrap. It may have been lost in our last move. *insert huge smile*

Remember that when it comes to moving into a new home it’s all about preparation, labelling and creating a stress free process. My husband amazes me today at how calm he gets when it comes to moving. Maybe its because he has done it more than five times in the last 4 years. I have to remember that my way may not always be the best way and to let the compilation of both our ideas make the whole process WORK!


- Mrs

Happy Mother's Day

Today is Mother's Day, well here in the land down under it is. It's a day that on a yearly basis families get together to celebrate all the awesome things a mother does for us. Mother's Day is a day we remember that our mums clean for us, cook for us, helps us when we are sick, comforts us when we are sad, celebrates the accomplishments, and most of all is always there for us at a moments notice. In some ways its like they are superwoman.

Choose when to fight

If you are ENGAGED or NEWLY-WED, don't be fooled into thinking this is not for you because it soon will be. Please also read our post about marriage being hard.

We have all been there. You're driving the car, cooking dinner, watching a movie, leaving for work, or simply out shopping when you have had enough of [insert personal annoyance here] and you just have to bring up that thing that is irritating you right now. More often that not, what happens next is you end up having a fight of sorts where you are both left dissatisfied and disquiet. No real resolution has happened, the partner who was "the cause" feels disgruntled and the partner who kicked things off is more unhappy than before.

A quick reflection

The past few weeks I looked back into the lives of my missionary parents as I gather photographs and create some video footage for them to see at their retirement party, I came to a important understanding of how blessed I am to have such great role models as parents. I am very lucky.

Marriage is hard, yet so rewarding

For those of you who are thinking about getting married or are planning to get married, so that you can be more prepared than we were, allow us to warn you: being married is HARD. However, on the flip side it is the best decision you will ever make!

Basic Advice for Young Marriages

Together we have compiled this small summary post with some simple findings and advice from our personal experience so far.