5 tips for sticking on while being sicked on

When you make that vow on your wedding day " ... in sickness and in health ... " it's more likely than not that you do not know what you are getting yourself into with the "in sickness" part. If you think it means "I promise to hand you more clean tissues to blow your nose" like I used to then you have no idea. The two hardest parts about marriage when your partner is sick are being there for them while they have their head over the toilet bowel, and looking after them when they are moody, crabby, irritable, uncomfortable, and in pain. This can get old fast, easily resulting in unnecessary fights. So here are 5 tips on sticking on while being sicked on...

5. Allow them feel like they are still helpful; don't make them feel totally dependent on you
In the later recovery stages of being sick your partner will want to start doing things again to help out. This is because they feel like you have done too much for them already and want to start helping out again. Don't deny them this joy and satisfaction of being able to help. It will aid in their recovery mentally as they feel that sense of accomplishment. Obviously make sure it is within their limits while they are still unwell because the last you want is to delay their recovery by over-exertion.

4. Don't get frustrated when they refuse your help
This ties into the previous point where you allow them the satisfaction of being able to do some normal things again, but it is more so focused on while they are fully sick. When sick, your partner may try to deny how sick they are by refusing your help or assistance. Remember, this is not your normal partner and so is no time to get upset with them because they refuse your good and caring intentions.

3. Go with the flow and don't complain
Consistent is by no means something your partner will be while sick. They may go from wanting you to be with them and (insert level of physical intimacy you are comfortable with while your partner is sick, eg, holding hands) to being repulsed by your presence. Be where you are needed, do what you are asked, and roll with the punches.

2. Don't complain about them being sick and not being able to for-fill your "needs"
When your partner is sick, their "needs" and the idea of your "needs" don't even enter their mind. Do not make any form of comment complaining about how your "needs" are not being met. Instead (if this is an issue for you) in the more comfortable moments of their sickness, make positive, longing comments which convey your desires without putting any pressure on them. Bonus points if you can make them still feel attractive and sexy even in their "not so great" moments. If you are lucky, you may even get a surprise once they are feeling better.

An example of a good comment would be: "You know, even when you are sick you are still desirable to me. I look forward to when you are feeling better again."

1. Make sure they know you will stay with them and love them in sickness and in heath
The last thing your sick partner wants to do is to repulse you, even if it is only by sickness. So continue to act the same loving way you would towards them (minus the appropriate level of physical contact based on sickness). Do whatever you have to to continue showing that affection - if you can't kiss on the lips, kiss on the forehead; if you can't kiss on the forehead, kiss on the shoulder; if you can't kiss on the shoulder, kiss on the hand.

Words - Use them, listen to them

Words are your most powerful relationship management tool, so it is important in your relationship that you learn to use them correctly and learn to listen to them correctly. This is especially true in early relationships while you are still learning to anticipate your partner (which you will never fully master because, well, people change).

Understanding the language of LOVE

Love is an emotion that you feel for your spouse. It burns inside you, keeps you awake at night, and drives you to keep going. There are things your partner does for you that stirs that emotion in you, and in the same way, there are things you do for them that makes them feel your love for them. Learning to identify and focus on showing your love in the most receptive way is vital to the success of a long and happy marriage.

Learning to live together

When you and your partner move in together you will notice there are a number of fantastic benefits. Some obvious benefits include not having to drive home at night after dropping your partner home, sharing a morning cup of tea together, or pyjama/naked days. However, when learning to live with your partner for the first time there are also a number of things you may need to learn or get used to. Some of these are easy while others will take time. Here is a list of 8 things you or your partner will need to learn.

Choose when to fight

If you are ENGAGED or NEWLY-WED, don't be fooled into thinking this is not for you because it soon will be. Please also read our post about marriage being hard.

We have all been there. You're driving the car, cooking dinner, watching a movie, leaving for work, or simply out shopping when you have had enough of [insert personal annoyance here] and you just have to bring up that thing that is irritating you right now. More often that not, what happens next is you end up having a fight of sorts where you are both left dissatisfied and disquiet. No real resolution has happened, the partner who was "the cause" feels disgruntled and the partner who kicked things off is more unhappy than before.

A quick reflection

The past few weeks I looked back into the lives of my missionary parents as I gather photographs and create some video footage for them to see at their retirement party, I came to a important understanding of how blessed I am to have such great role models as parents. I am very lucky.

Marriage is hard, yet so rewarding

For those of you who are thinking about getting married or are planning to get married, so that you can be more prepared than we were, allow us to warn you: being married is HARD. However, on the flip side it is the best decision you will ever make!

Basic Advice for Young Marriages

Together we have compiled this small summary post with some simple findings and advice from our personal experience so far.

Happy wife, happy life

So you have found your future bride or you recently got married. Congratulations! Now you are in for one hell of a ride my friend, filled with joy, happiness, fun and cuddles ;-). There is however a part of your relationship that you need to know and learn about very soon if you want a happy life…

Happy wife, happy life

This simple saying has been around since the first marriage, so no wonder why it’s one of the most accurate marriage sayings. Many singles may laugh at you for admitting that your happiness is determined by your partner’s happiness, however, as you will soon learn it may in fact be something similar to that.

About

This blog is by a young couple who are happily married and wish to share their experience in growing their marriage. We will be discussing sudden realizations as they happen, lessons which we have slowly learnt the hard way and, advice and person opinions we would like to share with you.

We got married at 21 (husband) and 22 (wife) after being engaged for 9 months and dating for 3 years (she is 5 months older). Currently he works full time and she is studying a Business Degree due to graduate 2014. We are both Christians who live in Australia. Although we are Christians, the majority of our posts will not contain any religious talk or religious opinion.

We review each others posts before they are published to make sure that what we are writing is accurate and true. We aim to keep posts short and to the point, able to be read and shared in a single short sitting. You will also always find a TL;DR (Too Long; Didn't Read) at the end which will summarize the post in 2 sentences or less.

Although neither of us excel in writing, we still enjoy sharing these topics with you and hearing your feedback. We also greatly appreciate and welcome any advice you may have to help improve our writing so that we can write better for you.

- Mr & Mrs